So, I've sent off my third form in 12 months.
I had to go for a medical after sending off the first one, and got a free pass on the second one, meaning no medical from ATOS
Medicals with ATOS are quite easy for me to pass - you see I have to travel nearly 50 miles on public transport to get to the medical centre, and by the time I get there I am in agony, and I am a sweaty, gibbering wreck, even with the use of a TENS machine and painkillers. It (the pain, and the exam) also brings on my anxiety, so I am 2 sweaty gibbering wrecks for the price of one.
However, the worst part comes later.
Last time I was bedbound for three days after having to travel the nearly 100 miles there and back, and it wasn't for around two weeks that I was back to what passes as normal for me.
Of course I was put in the working group, but as my ESA was contribution based, I only had to attend one session with the "work provider" and that was voluntary.
This time will be different however.
My work based contributions will run out in march, and I will have to attend workshops and be assessed by them on a regular basis, which I believe lasts for a minimum of 2 years.
This isn't a bad idea - if you can walk, sit and are comfortable around strangers, rather than the pain filled half ambulatory, anxiety ridden, bi-polar mess that I am.
But I digress.
Having been through quite a few of these medicals, and having read some real horror stories about them, I think I've been very lucky in that I have always had a nice assessor.
Indeed, at my last medical, the nice lady kept asking me if I was alright to continue, probably due to the fact that I was shaking, sweating and clearly in huge discomfort both physically and mentally. The dear even offered to get me some water, how nice of her after her employer had put me in that position in the first place.
The point these people, and the government are missing though, is that many of us on ESA want to work, but can't.
I dread to think of an employers liability should I have a manic episode at work, because at those times I seem to have very little control over what comes out of my mouth.
I mean, I think I'm being witty - others rarely do, unless they like profanity, sexual innuendo and wide eyed ravings about government conspiracies.
And that's before we address the fact that I can barely walk and am unable to sit for more than 5 minutes without being in extreme discomfort.
In case you're wondering, I am in bed, propped up with pillows writing this on a laptop, as I wrestle with remembering to eat and not being able to get my socks on.
On the plus side, I now have very dextrous feet.
Putting your socks on with your feet is great for this, and I hope to find an employer who will let me do my job lying down, whilst sorting mail with my toes.
